He says he has a mind of his own. He's welcome to it-- who else would want it?
I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, butI've only come up with one: Lying.
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible. " Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible. "
What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl? - "Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy? "
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "I just got laid and now you want me to get hard? !"Sent by Sarah
Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids? A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one.
A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge. " The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge? " The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster. "
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person whomakes all their decisions.
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
|Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants? They always want to play leap frog with him!
|What did the spider say to the fly? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing?
|When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.
How does a blonde change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment. "
Why do men masturbate? Because they want to have sex with someone they love.
Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
How do you get a man to leave when you want? Ask him about his feelings.