Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them!
A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said"Your wife's mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"
What is It? Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it? A Last name
A Friend's PrayerMay the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person whoscrews up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen
A Short History of MedicineI have an earache. . . 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress? Her balls would show.
An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here? ""Around 1. 5 billion" -- the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here? "
|100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FE buckets of bits on the bus . . . .
|What goes "snap, crackle and pop"? A firefly with a short circuit!
|What kind of pole is short and floppy? A tadpole!
|What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad? It became a daddy short legs!
A short history of medicine: I have an earache. 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo mama hair so short she curls it with rice.
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies! Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb. Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed. Yo mama so short she models for trophys.
What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? They both have wet noses!
What is black, blue, red, and brown? A Brewnette that has told to many Blonde Joke. What does a brewnette always miss at a great party? The invitation. Why are blonde jokes so short? So that brewnettes can understand them. What is a fine lookin' man with a brewnette? A hostage.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!
Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at anairport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out thewindshield and suddenly exclaimed to the copilot, "Holy cow! Lookhow short the runway is! I`ve never seen one that short!"The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you`re right! That`sincredible! Are you sure we can make it? " "Well we better, werealmost out of fuel. "So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers toput their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergencylanding. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane tojust over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on theragged edge of control. The pilot`s hands were sweating, the copilotwas praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUSTbefore the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "WHEW! That was CLOSE!" yelled the captain. "That runway was SHORT!""Yeah!" said the copilot,"and WIDE too!"
A man goes into the optician and asks for his eyes to be tested because he suspected short sightedness. The optician took the man outside and pointed to the sky saying "What's that up there? ". The man replied "why. . that's the sun. . . !". On that the optician said, "How far do you want to see sir!"