What have a blonde and a computer got in common? You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!Sent by Tiggsy
Little Johnny was late for school. When he finally got therehis teacher asked,"Why are you late little Johnny? "Johnny replied, "My grandpa got burnt, Miss. "The teacher replied, "I hope it wasn't too bad. "Then little Johnny said, "Don't worry, the crematorium doesn'tmuck around!"
Q: Why were there only 49 contestants at the Miss Ebonics USA pageant? A: No one wanted to stand up and say. . . Idaho. . .
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss? " "Don't Miss me, mister. " "Well then, you better make it 13. "
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? - Because she gets a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. "Mrs. Brown," he said, "I have some good news for you. "The woman said, "I'm glad of that doctor, but I'm Miss Brown,""Miss Brown," said the doctor without changing expression, "I have bad news for you. "
Did you know Sex is a crime? Its a misdemeanor - The more I miss de meaner I get. .
A question for Bill Clinton:"What was Miss Lewinsky's most memorable feature? ""She has the whitest teeth I've ever come across"
What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, andclitorises? They miss them all.
What is black, blue, red, and brown? A Brewnette that has told to many Blonde Joke. What does a brewnette always miss at a great party? The invitation. Why are blonde jokes so short? So that brewnettes can understand them. What is a fine lookin' man with a brewnette? A hostage.
The teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson:"All right class, I want everyone to write a sentence which starts with a question and ends with an answer and has the words possible and definite in it!"All at once, young Johnny's hand shot up. "Miss! Miss!" called Johnny. "Write it down, Johnny!" said the teacher. " . . . But Miss! Miss! Miss!" Johnny intoned. "I said write it down!" exclaimed the teacher who was now quite peeved. "Miss! Miss!" called Johnny once more. "Okay, Johnny. I give up. What is it? ""Is it possible that farts have lumps in them? " "No!" said the startled teacher. "Then I have definitely shit myself!"
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them!
What do most women miss most about being single? Having sex!
Little miss muffet. . . sat on her tuffet. . . eating her kurds and way. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and said: "hey, whatsin the bowl bitch? !"
A young lady is in the hospital for an operation. She says, "Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again? "He says, "You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!"
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always. "
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!
Kids: "Hello Miss Saunders, can Johnny come out to play? " Mother: "I am sorry kids but you know Johnny has leprosy," Kids: "Well, then can we come in and watch him rot? "
You should "never" drink during tax season. "You might shoot at tax collectors and miss!"