You might be a redneck if you've been married three timesand still have the same in-laws.
We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a dog.
Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won ?
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Do you know why single women can't fart? Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married.
Q: Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat? A: Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. ? . Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.
Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.
Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember
"Was your wife a virgin when you married? ""I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no. "
Why do you live like a NUN after you get married? NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the evening, NUN what so ever!Sent by Tiffany
Any married man should forget his mistakes,there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
|What did the spider say to the fly? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing?
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in handicapped zones.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed, and they go to the fridge.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
You know you've been married too long when a "Quickie" before dinner now means a drink.
"Before I married my wife," a husband once said, "it was nothing but wine, women, and song. Now that I'm her husband, it's beer, mama, and TV. "
What does SWM stand for in a personal column advertisement? Sneaking While Married