At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorse the patient.
Q. Why was the female blonde confused whilst going to the ladies toilet? ? A. She had to pull her own pants downSent by sam
Consider the following:Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in acrowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,I need a new G string!"
This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: "I got 12 inches over here you would love to have. " The female response was: "Well, spit it out it isn't yours. "
"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many peopleare fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are veryattached to. ""But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm. . . *physically* attracted to my horse. ""Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female? " "Female, of course!" the man replied. "What do you think I am. . . GAY? ? ? "
Why do female parachutists wear tampons? So they don't whistle on the way down. . .
In a recent scientific research project, it was provedthat Beer contains the female hormone oestrogen. That's why after a six pack you can't drive.
|Heard on a radio station. What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? "He's a real fun guy [fungi]. "
|Why didn't the female frog lay eggs? Because her husband spawned her affections!
Airport immigration. . . . . . NAME:Muhammed al FacidSEX:Yes 3 times a week. NO I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE:Oh that doesn't matter to me, sometimes I even do it with camels.
A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their favorite was a set of towels embroidered with the words: "hiss and hearse"(woo-hoo!. . . that was terrible! :)
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEJohn Hopkins Medical Center is reporting an unusual occurrence in the Obstetrics department:A child was born with both male and female organs. A penis and a brain!
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve? They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Mirrors are female because none of their reflections are really their own. Stamps are female because men like to lick them, stick them, and then send them away. Windows are male because they're a pane, and because you can see through them. Shit is male because the older it gets, the easier it is to pick up.
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by exponential progression when he is already in the company of: (1) a date (2) his wife (3) a better looking and richer male friend.
What's a man's worst nightmare? 1) The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera. 2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to. 3) A female boss. 4) He has to ask his wife for money.
Why is it good that we now have female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.
Marriage counselor to female client: Maybe your problem is that you've been waking up grumpy every morning. Client: No, I always let him sleep.
How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes? Pull down their genes!
Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: Lipstick