Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.
What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!
What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street.
What is white and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord.
What did God say after creating man? "I can do better"
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa.
What do you give the paedophile who has everything? Another parish
What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame? Virgin on the ridiculous.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts it off, and a priest sucks it off.
What was the First Commandment? "Adam, eat my pussy. "
Q. What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A. They both have balls just for decoration.
What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!
What do you call a man that marries another man? A minister
Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed!
How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.