What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? Gee, we really do taste like chicken.
Q: Why did Marshall Applewhite insist that his follwers be castrated? A: He heard that to be really successful on the Internet you have to workwith UNIX.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will never be able tosupport you.
Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia? A: He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.
How do you know when the barmaid is really pissed off? When you find a string in your bloody mary.
How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.
A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest "Will I really sink if you take your finger out? "
Why do they bury lawers 26 feet underground? Because deep down, they are really nice guys.
Q: Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? A: They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
|Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
|Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six? Because deep down they really are good people.
I love to sleep. It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A1: A golden retriever. A2: A labrador. A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Why don't most women ever tell their husbands when they're really enjoying sex? Because their husbands are never there when it happens!
Trish: My tummy is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?
Mavis: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, really? Mavis: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.