Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse". "Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going? ". "Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week. ""So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood? ".
Q: Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? A: To meet chicks.
A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, "Over my dead body !" He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't changed one little bit. "
Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. "How'rethangs with y'all, Pete? " one asked. "Not bad atall," Pete replied. "My old woman ain't talkin' to me thiseyer week. . . and I ain't in no mood to interrupt her. "
Two friends meet each other on the street. "Hello! Where are you coming from? " asked Bill. "Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Sid. "I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over? ". "It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are draggingtheir right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the otherknowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969. " The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feetback. "
A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, " Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them. "
Did you know that the night Santa first met his futurewife he uttered the now famous words: "Yes, that is a candy cane in my pocket, and I am glad to meet you. "
Two gynecologists meet at lunch. The first one says, "I had a patient this morning witha clit like a dill pickle. The second one says,"That big or that green? "The first one says,"That Sour. "
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school.
|Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. "The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what? ""No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class. "
|What do you say if you meet a toad? Wart's new!
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969. " The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back. "
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet. " A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says "not yet. " Finally they say, "When can we see the baby? " And the mother says, "When the baby cries. " And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries? " The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it. "
You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!
"Billy, the Homicidal Smurf. " "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home. " "Archie, the Abcessed Tooth. " "Yosemite Sam. . . UNCENSORED!" "The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers. " "Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood. " "The Land of The Lost. . . The Barney Years. " "COPS" in full color animation!
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet. " A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says "not yet. "Finally they say, "When can we see the baby!? "And the mother says, "You'll have to wait until the baby cries. " And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries? "The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it!"
A new neigbour arrives. The kids meet. The local kid:"My mom was born in California!Where was your mom born? "The other kid answers, "Alaska". The first one replies:"Gee, then don't worry about it. . . I'll ask'er myself!"
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going tomeet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything aboutyou. "The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, orwhat? ""No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class. "